The Aftermath

Here I am again, and I honestly don’t even know how to start. The outpouring of love following my coming out has blown my mind. So many people have called, texted, messaged, and emailed me rallying their voices together in support of my choice to come out, and supporting others in similar circumstances.

Thank you. Every last one of you. The last few days have made it into the top ten days of my life. I never expected to receive such an intensely positive response as this. I admit that I checked my number of Facebook friends before I posted it, preparing myself to watch it drop. It didn’t. It grew. I’ve met so many remarkable people who are doing incredible things in Utah and around the world to make it a better place for all of us.

Coming out has been an incredible experience for me thus far. However, that’s not to say that there hasn’t been some level of backlash from it. The greatest joys in life always seem to come with a necessary handful of hurt. I think it’s to keep us grounded, to remind us that life will never be perfect. Regardless of hurt, though, the quest for happiness will always be worth it.

I’m not going to be one of those people who recommends that every gay person in the world drops everything and comes bursting out of the closet. When the time is right, they’ll feel it. And if someone chooses to or has chosen to remain in the closet, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that either. No one knows anyone else’s exact circumstances better than they do. Just because coming out publicly works well for one person, doesn’t mean that it’s a great idea for everyone. But I can highly recommend surrounding yourself with people who you can tell, and who will love you unconditionally. It’s been so important to me to have people in my life who I can talk to about everything. Keeping secrets is emotionally exhausting, and having support is everything.

Now comes the weird part for me, what do I do now? It’s been a very exciting past few days. I think what I’ve learned more than anything is that I want to help others in circumstances like mine. I’m not just talking about gay people, though that would be, I suppose, my natural area of expertise. Anyone who is feeling alone, ostracized, or victimized by the ignorant need someone to reach out to them. Become a light for them.

I don’t know exactly what my future holds. Do any of us, really? But now I think I’m getting a better idea of the kind of person I’d like to be. I met a lot of heroes in the past few days: people who offered me a place to stay if I ever needed one, people who told me if I ever needed a hug on a hard day that they’d be there for me, countless other beautiful, wonderful people. And I want to be just like them.

The past few days have given me hope that making the world a kinder place may not be nearly as impossible as I’d always thought. When I came out, so many people swooped in to lift me back onto my feet and give me a huge shove in the right direction. How amazing would it be if we found someone every day who could use our help, and do the same thing?

Let’s swoop. Let’s be lights.